You’ve built an impressive career. You’ve checked every box society handed you. You’ve made the sacrifices, climbed the ladder, and earned the recognition. From the outside, your life looks enviable, successful, put-together, and accomplished.

Yet there’s this persistent whisper inside asking: Is this all there is?

Here’s what I’ve learned working with hundreds of women at this crossroads: even when they recognize themselves in every word, even when they know they need support, there are predictable barriers that keep them from taking that next step. Not practical barriers, emotional ones.

The Prison of “Should”

For decades, you’ve been living by a carefully constructed set of rules about who you should be, what you should want, and how you should spend your time. You should prioritize everyone else’s needs. You should be grateful for what you have. You should keep pushing forward because that’s what successful women do.

But here’s the thing about “should”: it’s become your prison.

You’ve been so busy performing the role of the high-achieving woman that you’ve lost touch with who you are beneath all that competence. The woman who had dreams, curiosities, and desires that had nothing to do with anyone else’s expectations.

I know this prison intimately. After almost two decades as a corporate executive, I walked away to become a wife and mother, creating work as a school system advisor and volunteer while raising my children. I decided to find the balance everyone praised. But in my forties, the blinders came off. My marriage misaligned from the start, but camouflaged by the constant motion of kids, house, travel, all the distractions of what comes next began to crumble. Even with those distractions, the truth became unavoidable: we were not equally yoked. And beneath that realization lived an even deeper question: Was I living what was expected of me as a woman, or was I living my life?

Approaching fifty became my reckoning point. At fifty, I ended my marriage. At fifty, I started my coaching and consulting firm, integrating what had seemed like a wandering career path into the work I was meant to do. I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been challenges, fear, and tears. But those became the building blocks to an aligned life I didn’t know was possible. Now, approaching sixty, my life has been reclaimed. And I’m not looking back except to help other women reclaim theirs.

Now, let me be clear, your path forward doesn’t have to look like mine did. Sometimes reclamation happens within your current role, relationship, or life structure. But make no mistake, it will require leaning into discomfort. It will require some form of disruption because you can’t reclaim your True North while staying completely comfortable in patterns that no longer serve you.

 

The Guilt of Wanting More

One of the most significant barriers keeping you stuck isn’t practical; it’s emotional. You feel guilty for wanting something different when you “have it all.” You question whether you deserve to pursue what lights you up, even though you already have more than most people.

This guilt is particularly acute for women who’ve always been the dependable ones, the problem-solvers, the ones everyone counts on. The idea of shifting focus to your own needs feels selfish, even when you intellectually know it’s not.

But consider this: What message are you sending to the people who matter most to you when you consistently put your own dreams last? What are you modeling about self-worth and fulfillment?

This isn’t about ingratitude or selfishness. It’s about recognizing that you’ve been navigating by someone else’s compass for so long that you’ve forgotten you have your own.

The Identity Trap

Your roles have become so intertwined with your sense of self that the thought of change feels like losing yourself entirely. Who are you if you’re not the Vice President, the Director, the devoted wife, the dutiful daughter, the pillar of your community, the woman who has it all figured out?

This identity fusion is particularly common among high achievers. You’ve been rewarded for competence and achievement for so long that your titles, both professional and personal, have become a proxy for your worth. You’re the one everyone counts on, the problem-solver, the reliable one. The fear isn’t just about changing careers or relationships; it’s about not knowing who you’ll be without the external validation and expectations that have defined you.

But here’s what I know from working with hundreds of women at this crossroads: beneath the resume, beneath the roles, beneath the performance, beneath all the “shoulds,” there is a woman you’ll like. She’s been there all along, waiting for you to remember her.

I had to discover this myself. When I walked away from my executive role, when my marriage ended, when I could no longer be the version of myself everyone expected, I felt untethered. Who was I without that business card, without that identity I’d built for 20+ years, without being someone’s wife, without the roles that had given me purpose and validation? But in that discomfort, I found something more valuable: my True North. The woman I found beneath all those identities was someone I’d been ignoring for decades.

The Silent Burnout

You’re exhausted, but not in the way people typically recognize. You’re still showing up, still performing, still getting results. But inside? You’re running on empty.

This silent burnout is insidious because it doesn’t look like what we think burnout should. You’re not collapsing dramatically or failing to meet deadlines. Instead, you’re experiencing a slow erosion of joy, energy, and connection to what matters most. Some of my clients use words like “I feel dull” or “I’ve lost my mojo.”

You smile in meetings while feeling numb inside. You take on more responsibility even when you’re overwhelmed. You ignore the physical signs of stress because rest feels like falling behind. The very competence that’s been rewarded is now the thing that’s slowly depleting your soul.

The Perfectionist’s Paralysis

You know you need change, but you’re waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect plan, the perfect guarantee of success. You’re treating your next chapter like another project to be managed and optimized, which keeps you perpetually stuck in analysis mode.

This perfectionism isn’t serving you anymore. While men apply for opportunities when they meet 60% of the qualifications, you’re waiting until you meet 100%. While others are taking imperfect action, you’re still trying to figure it all out in your head.

But transformation doesn’t happen in your head; it happens through action, experimentation, and yes, sometimes messy forward movement.

The Connection Deficit

Years of keeping your head down and grinding it out have left you isolated. You haven’t made time for networking because it felt inauthentic or unnecessary. Now, contemplating change, you realize you’re navigating this transition alone.

This isolation extends beyond professional connections. You’ve been so focused on being the strong one that you haven’t developed the support systems you need for major life transitions. The idea of asking for help or admitting uncertainty feels vulnerable and unfamiliar.

Reclaiming Your True North

Your True North isn’t another goal to achieve or another box to check. It’s your personal compass of authenticity, the place where your values, purpose, and most profound wisdom align to guide your next chapter.

Discovering it requires stepping away from the “should” that’s been driving you and tuning into the whisper of your inner wisdom. It means giving yourself permission to want something different, even if you can’t yet articulate precisely what that is.

Permission to Begin Before You’re Ready

The most significant shift you can make right now is to let go of the need to have it all figured out before you start. Your next chapter isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about having the courage to ask new questions.

Start taking purposeful action even when the destination isn’t clear. This might mean having exploratory conversations, experimenting with new interests, or simply creating space for reflection that isn’t driven by productivity.

When I stood at my own crossroads, I didn’t have all the answers. I just knew I couldn’t keep living by someone else’s compass. I started taking imperfect action, having exploratory conversations, running small experiments, and allowing myself not to have it figured out—that willingness to begin before I was ready changed everything.

Movement creates clarity, not the other way around.

The Power of Community

For eight years now, I’ve been creating the space I wish existed when I was navigating my own transformation. The Reclamation isn’t theoretical; it’s built on lived experience, on the messy middle of rebuilding, and on understanding what high-achieving women actually need at this crossroads.

There’s something powerful about being in a room with women who let you stop performing. Who understands when you say, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” not as a crisis, but as an invitation to discover your True North. This is the community I needed then. This is the community I’m committed to creating now.

Redefining Success on Your Terms

By now, you’ve probably lost your taste for proving yourself to others. The external markers of success that once motivated you might feel hollow or insufficient. This isn’t a failure, it’s evolution.

Your next chapter gets to be about meaningful work instead of prestigious titles, about challenging assignments that align with your values instead of promotions that don’t, about integrating who you are at work with who you are at home.

This is your opportunity to redefine success on your own terms.

The Cost of Waiting

What’s the cost of not addressing this restlessness? Another year of living by “should.” Another milestone celebration where you smile on the outside while questioning everything on the inside. Another decade of following someone else’s compass instead of your own.

The women I work with often say the same thing: “I wish I had started this work sooner.” Not because they regret their journey, but because they realize how much energy they spent fighting against their own inner wisdom.

Your Life is Calling You Back to Yourself

That voice inside asking “Is this all there is?” isn’t trying to sabotage you. It’s trying to save you from a life lived entirely on other people’s terms, from years of accumulated exhaustion, from the regret of never finding out who you really are when you stop performing.

Your restlessness is not a problem to be solved; it’s an invitation to be answered. An invitation to remember who you were before the world told you who to be. An invitation to discover your True North and have the courage to follow it.

The question isn’t whether you’re capable of change; you’ve already proven your capability countless times. The question is whether you’re ready to prioritize the most important relationship you’ll ever have: the one with yourself.

Your life is calling you back to yourself. Will you answer?

After working as a Fortune 100 executive, leaving corporate, navigating divorce, and rebuilding as a single mom, I created The Reclamation, the program I wish had existed at my own crossroads.

For eight years, I’ve been guiding women to discover their True North, that personal compass where values, purpose, and wisdom align.

I am committed to creating space where high-achieving women can finally exhale, where “I don’t know who I am anymore” isn’t a crisis, but an invitation to discover something authentic.

Ready to discover your True North? Learn more about The Reclamation journey.