When you Google “women in midlife,” the autocomplete suggests the phrase “midlife crisis” 99% of the time. It’s astounding to see the prevailing narrative of women in their middle years as being in crisis, vulnerable, hopeless and pitiful. These descriptions are not only hurtful – they’re inaccurate.
The History of the “Midlife Crisis”
The concept of a “midlife crisis” emerged in the 1960s. It was focused on men grappling with their mortality and reflecting on their life decisions. Gradually, this concept extended to conversations about women as they approached menopause. The media, literary works and even certain psychological research has contributed to portraying women in their 40s, 50s and older as facing physical decline, desperately trying to hold onto their youth.
This stereotypical portrayal is further exacerbated by cultural representations. Think about all of the movies and tv series that depict women in the following three categories:
- Empty nesters longing for something more fulfilling
- Dissatisfied homemakers yearning for past ambitions they never pursued
- Ambitious career-focused women realizing they sacrificed love and family for professional pursuits
These portrayals fail to capture the richness of experience, insightfulness and strength that comes with aging. Instead, they imply that a woman’s worth decreases through the years.
Changing The Narrative of Women in Midlife
The reality is that middle age isn’t synonymous with turmoil. For many women, it’s a period of empowerment, self-discovery and deep satisfaction. I’m reminded of my personal journey.
I was fully immersed in pursuing success in my 20s and 30s. I wore power suits, was driven by ambition and was solely focused on my career. After I got married, I dedicated my mid-30s and 40s to family life – I found fulfillment in the joys and challenges of being a wife and mother.
When my marriage ended right before my 50th birthday, I was left with no choice but to rebuild my life. Through the pain, I realized that bravery lies in recognizing when it’s time to start anew. My 50s marked the beginning of something new – starting my executive coaching and leadership business. Although my journey wasn’t without its challenges – uncertainty, financial concerns and the daunting task of reshaping my identity – I was not in crisis. I emerged stronger and more determined with each hurdle I overcame.
Now, the rhythm of my days has evolved organically. I dedicate my mornings to writing and meditation as my way of making sense of the tapestry of life. then, I can ease into coaching session where I share earned strengths before spending my evenings with my adult children and my dog, Gizmo. Self-care is my priority and I give from an overflowing cup. My story isn’t unusual.
From midlife crisis to midlife curious
Maybe you, too, have discovered that midlife sparked a renewed sense of creativity or entrepreneurial drive. What hobbies have you taken up simply for the joy of crafting rather than seeking external approval? Allow your artistic expression to serve as a tool for introspection and personal growth.
And if your passage through midlife hasn’t been seamless, that’s ok, too. Age often brings with it health concerns, financial pressures, changing family dynamics and redefining your relationships with family, friends and even your adult children. Sometimes midlife includes divorce and personal and/or professional setbacks.
But, categorizing these experiences as a “midlife crisis” is oversimplifying. Now is a time to rely on your wisdom, to become curious and to lean on your support systems to navigate this period with strength. It’s also time to highlight a range of stories – mine and yours – to show women thriving, reinventing themselves and finding genuine satisfaction in their middle years.
Be challenging beliefs, we enact change
A young professional may hear my story and think, “If she can rebuild at her age, then setbacks are only detours.” Someone else may hear my story and realize that divorce isn’t the end but a tough transition to something new. A woman in her middle years may be encouraged by you to see this chapter of her life in a new light.
Together, we can rewrite the narrative of women in midlife; not for external validation, but because sharing our journeys creates a ripple effect of positive change.
My message to you is both simple and profound: your life story is still unfolding. You are entering transformative years where every challenge, triumph, and cherished moment adds depth to your story.
