Stop trying to change toxic people. They might change after years of therapy or a life-changing wake up call, but nothing you do or say will change them. They may be surrounded by people whose hearts they’ve broken and relationships they’ve severed but to them, the issues will always be someone else’s fault.

Let’s look at 7 signs a person is toxic:

1. You’re left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them.

2. They try to intimidate you to get their way.

3. They try to control you by guilt tripping.

4. They are easily jealous.

5. They constantly see themselves as a victim.

6. They give backhanded compliments.

7. They’re overly defensive.

Did you have someone in mind when you read through that list? If yes, don’t waste another moment of your time wondering if that person is toxic – they are. 

To paraphrase Behavioral Change Expert, Karen Solomansohn: not facing the truth about the toxicity makes you the a**hole, not them. Once you realize this, you will find yourself at a turning point. The energy will begin to shift focus to YOU and your healing.

You will no longer be able to “unsee” the truth and you will do whatever it takes to heal. You’ll begin to see the wounds that made you susceptible to toxic people. Notice I said people, not one person…there is usually a trail of toxic people in your history.

Salmansohn asks if you are ready to: 

• Not be an a**hole to yourself. 

• Stop staying with (and/or complaining about toxic people.)

• Choose to focus your energy and conversations around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow into your happiest, strongest wisest self. 

It all starts by facing the truth and taking one baby step after another. Perhaps today that baby step is signing up to speak with me and/or learning more about toxic relationships on your own. If you do nothing else after reading this, I urge you to trust and believe that there is life after toxic relationships. Not just surviving the toxicity, but actually thriving during the healing process and creating a life as the best, brightest heal(ing) version of yourself.

I know from my own experience that toxic people seek out kind, empathetic and compassionate people to be their energy supply. I don’t write much about my own history with toxic energies, but trust me, I have skin in the game. My own therapy, coaching and energy work helped me to get to the place where I am now, able to provide coaching and guidance to help other kind, empathetic and compassionate souls thrive after falling prey to toxic relationships.

My healing started with baby steps toward self-growth that brought me to where I am today:

• Therapy that opened my eyes to my reality

• Energy work (Reiki) that helped settle my energetic body (chakras) enough to think and plan my exit strategy

• Meditation and prayer that allowed me to tap into my intuition and follow my best impulses

Where is here, you may ask?

I am a divorced, single mom running a successful coaching business and living ON PURPOSE. I use my hard-earned wisdom to help people navigate challenges in their lives. At times those challenges include toxic relationships. My work is my calling. I consider it a blessing to be able to provide even a small amount of guidance and hope to someone living the nightmare of toxic relationships. 

Get support on your healing journey. Click the link below to schedule a 30-min consultation with me. 

Additional resources:

Karen Salmansohn’s Blog — Not Salmon

Jagjot Singh — Energy (Chakra) Healing for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

Sherrie Bourg Carter, Psy.D. — How to Deal With People Who Drain You

FAQ Health — Signs of a Covert Narcissist

Melanie Evans — You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse

Angie Atkinson — Guided Meditation for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery