Left with an empty nest, as parents we must also start a new chapter of our lives. If we are blessed as parents, one day our children will graduate from high school and leave home to begin a new and exciting chapter of their lives. Some will head to college, others to trade school, some will join the military or move into their own apartment and join the workforce. And through this time of transition, they are not the only ones facing new beginnings.
New beginnings after an empty nest
Ideally, the letting go process started way before the kid(s) moved out. But for a lot of us, it hits us like a ton of bricks when the day comes. Managing the transition mindfully will determine if it is one characterized by excitement, or one of great feelings of loss.
This transition can be a rite of passage versus a prolonged disruption to your well-being.
3 best practices for empty nest liberation
Rediscover your identity
Some of us have lost ourselves in the identity of “parent.” For goodness sakes, we’ve been pouring our heart and soul into our children for eighteen years. It’s understandable, right? Of course, it’s going to be challenging to let that part of our identity go, painful even. Let yourself feel the loss. Take time to grieve if needed. Just don’t get stuck there. (Related Post to link here: Find Your Wings)
Recalibrate your routine
What makes this process especially hard is the sudden end of once endless activities. You know the drills: music lessons, recitals, scouts, sports, homework, sleepovers, carpools. When those go away, there is an immediate sense of emptiness that takes time to recalibrate and anchor in a new routine. Redefine your existence and replace time spent in service to your beloved kids with new meaningful activities. Give yourself permission to take time with this process, but be intentional about making a plan. Start daydreaming about what your newfound freedom will bring.
Recreate your relationship with your children
The sooner you’re able to let go of the way things were and embrace the dynamic shift that comes when your kids leave the nest, the sooner the relationship has the opportunity to expand and become something new. As Steve Maraboli so beautifully writes,
“You can’t possibly embrace the new relationship, that new companion, that new career, that new friendship or that new life you want while you’re still holding on to the baggage of the last one. Let go…and allow yourself to embrace what is waiting for you at your feet.”
In letting go, you open up the possibility of creating a new, equally beautiful relationship with your child(ren). You will come to realize that you don’t stop being a parent just because your kids don’t live under the same roof with you. It’s actually pretty cool developing friendships with your adult children.
I wish you peace and a renewed sense of self as you embrace your empty net liberation.
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Learn more about my midlife programs and resources here.
